Poetry #3 – Lilia Lindquist

DAILY STRUGGLES

Let me hang loosely for I do not care enough to hold my own weight

His words weigh my mind, I cannot think

I do not care enough to

More than anything I just want to sleep

Can he not tell he is killing me with each second?

There is so much to do

This is a waste of my god damn time

I try to envision my freedom, his hold is far too tight

I do not care if he is content, I am drowning

Get me out

 

I am so uncomfortable, I know them so well

The time I spent with them was wasted, I gained nothing

They never meet my mom, or even know my middle name

Yet they greet me in an embrace

I hate this, I hate them

All the same, poised and excited from cheap vodka

I feel nauseous

Not from them, I’ve had too much

I spark chaos out of my own boredom

I hate this, I hate them

 

 

She is so lovely in her worn denim and cotton tee

Her dark hair falls in thick waves, I can smell her shampoo

As she speaks her hands flutter with each word

I drown in her grey eyes as they widen in excitement

Physically, she is flawless

If I tune into her voice and the conversation released, I retreat

The shrill pitch and uneven tone reminds me of gulls

Her words leave me feeling empty, they are meaningless

All she talks about are other people

I switch my gaze behind her, searching for an escape

Her beauty has expired, my first impression has drifted away, nowhere to be found

 

Trying new things is so important

I reiterate this in my head over and over

But the grass here is dry and dead

It leaves red scratches up and down my legs

I miss the grass at home

It was vibrant and filled my lungs with a sweet aroma

I remember laying in the yard just to embrace the life of it

I would never lay in this, I would break out in hives

I can feel my regret creeping in

Realizing what I’ve done I go inside, I cannot stand being surrounded by death

 

 

I could handle sharing his attention

I was not the slightest bit ideal, but life usually isn’t

He always connected with her in such a natural way

I had to put in a lot of effort to keep him interested

When she was gone, it was heaven

He made me feel truly, deeply loved

It was an amazing high I could’ve survived on

That was then, now I just reminisce

We haven’t spoken in a year, but I know he is always with her

It was never a competition, she always had the title

 

 

13 thoughts on “Poetry #3 – Lilia Lindquist

  1. Kelsey

    The story you tell is definitely interesting. This is why poetry isn’t my favorite, it leaves too much to be desired! I’d like to know the rest of the story. However, I like the drama and pain in the snippet we get to see here. Clearly it’s a volatile relationship and the narrator is tortured by her desire for the man and the relationship but can see that there is a better life for her out there.

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  2. Tometria Jackson

    At first I thought I was reading several different poems, and that you had forgotten to title them. When I realized that it was a single piece, I was then puzzled over the switch in pronouns and the change in the subject matter. After I reread the entire piece, I realized that this poem was about a dysfunctional relationship and the many entangled threads that are a part of extricating yourself from the drama.

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  3. nmfleming

    I would have to agree with Tometira. When I started reading the poem I understood what was going on, then things started to change and I thought I was reading a whole different poem. It was still wonderful, your stanza just didn’t flow together beautifully. To me, I thought the first two stanzas were about how the struggles of daily life are wearing on you which is causing you pain. The last three stanzas I thought were about someone passing away and that was causing you harm. Now that I have reread it I can see how it is about a dysfunctional relationship.

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  4. Delaney E Reece

    I can say that you held my attention for sure. I want more background on these people and these events, you have left me looking for answers and I do not even know where to start. I think adding in just a few more clues, still leaving things rather ambiguous would let the reader imagine even more and get a better picture of your story.

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  5. Courtney Kisner

    I loved the subject matter. Your emotions were so raw and in some ways very relatable. Some clear, specific details would really help the reader connect and imagine the scene and the people. Possible titles or some transitions in there would help as well. As some classmates said, it did read as one whole piece, but you might want to consider some small transition titles in there. Otherwise, you really have a solid draft to chip away at.

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  6. Shana Waring

    There was definitely a clear feeling of discontentment and longing for something more in this series of poems. The third poem was my favorite. It had so much imagery and detail. There was also a turn in the story which left me interested in your next piece. I think your subject point was a great choice as you were able to take different approaches and use different characters while still tying everything together.

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  7. Angela Rodriguez

    I really liked this set of poems and the different feelings in each of them, specifically the first and last poems. The first poem seems to be about a relationship that is struggling. There is pain and sorrow with the narrator and she just wants out of this painful relationship. Then, the poems end with the last poem that I think is involved with the same relationship. It was a relationship that she had to share. I have personally experienced a relationship like this so I liked the last poem the most. It reminded me of hoping he wouldn’t get another late night text from the girl he cared more about and how when it was just him and I, he would tell me that it’s the end of him and the other woman. Great Job!

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  8. Brenden Couch

    The first lines , honestly made me think of the song hold on loosely by 38 special, I think that is who sings it. These poems seem to be about complicated situations and . you can definitely feel that in the telling, thank you for sharing.

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  9. Jess Young

    I can feel your frustration and disappointment throughout your poetry. It’s very visual and relatable. Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Kait

    Wow, your poem was very interesting, I really liked how mysterious your poem was, I did not see the twist at the end coming! I can feel the struggle in your poem, nice job!

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