Poem #1 Succubus Smile
Wise woman alone assessing facts
Provoking with motions which men attract
The right thing
The right time
With skill and tact
Sex is a weapon and I attack
The succubus smile says stay for a while
Hunted down like a bloodhound who’s been sniffing for miles
Just leave at home your wife and child
I serve it up flaming hot, medium or mild
Can’t be tamed this shits too wild
Smiling succubus Lures its prey
Bending his will and getting her way
What happend all night
Can haunt you all day .
Succubus smile is only here to play
Lock you down in lust
If you’re weak you’ll stay
poem#2 Domestic Violence
Beat broken and bruised
She is left
Confused
A target
For Anger
Places the victim in physical danger
Alaska is the place to be
If youre a man who likes to beat
Small jail sentance
Continual repentance
Lets attack the plaintiff
Be so very lenient to our guilty defendant
Alaska why?
Do we not value our women?
The very ones who transport the souls to life from within them
Lets put some logistics beside the addendum
Poem #3 Unemployment
Unemployed while others work
Some love welfare
While the prideful are hurt
Some spouses bear the burden while others dessert
Do you have money?
Can you pay your bookie?
And afford girl scout cookies?
Gas in your rig? Fat like a pig?
Unemployed? The women won't date you
Your landlord will hate you
Those you thought were friends will turn and berate you
Unemployment
Able bodied human being
Are you too good to hit this scene?
Scrub a floor,wash a door
Anything
Flip a burger
Anything
Fly a plane
Anything
Unemployed are society’s pain
Employed taxpayers facilitate gains
Why work to pay?
Don’t work and get paid
Able bodied human being
Is there something we’re not seeing
We both know what you’re not being.
Poem #4
What is life
What is life? What is the purpose
Work, breed and gather are topics of surface
Planet earth how old are you?
God? Do you really watch everything we do?
Am I free to choose my path or in servitude to you
Jesus,pagans
Vegans, bacons
How do we choose?
What should
We
Use. Lessons learned will do what for us later?
What
Is
Life about. Does it measure fear
And resonate doubt? Lets see who knows and who is pretending to know. Death is a part of life. So if life death, Will the planet go on without you?
Is this your show where its all about you?
Anger and happiness will fade away
Poem #5
Cannabis
Can abyss Cannabis
Wonder meds
Saving lives
Cancer out
Cannabis in
Nature is our only friend
Invervention from big pharm
Sound the alarm
Medication shouldnt kill
Phizer and Merc is this your will?
To kill our citizens through an imposing,yet legal drug deal.
Cannabis can abyss
Sativa, indica, ruderalis auto flower
Over fibro myalgia we have power
Glaucoma is cured
Epilepsy defeated
Government why is your approval needed?
Free country my ass. Looking over my shoulder before i whip out my stash of sticky medicated grass. Hoping the fuzz wont pop up and harass me so crass.
Benjamin Hayward
I like #1 with the rhyming verses and story to tell. Its some humor to it as well.
#2 is deep, yo. Didn’t know Alaska had that type of problem.
#3. Been unemployed and job hunting. Choosing between bookie and cookie, nice.
#4. Not a big fan of this format. This is because of the structure
#5. Also ending rhymes. very nice.
Lilia Lundquist
Reading these was like reading lyrics to different rap songs addressing social problems. I loved how you were able to incorporate so much rhyming while still getting your point across. My favorite was the succubus smile. I found it intriguing and somewhat mysterious. I think the only one that may need a little work is the weed one, it seemed a little down played, you could add more.
Kelsey
I love how you addressed different social problems in each poem. You also did a great job rhyming in each poem, which is something I struggle to do. I really liked number two, the system is way too lenient on domestic violence and sexual assault offenders.
Tometria Jackson
I love good writing, and your poetry is excellent! You have a way with words that goes beyond rhyming to a deep understanding of your subject matter . Your exploration of social ills is revealing and yet addressed with compassion. The poem, ‘Domestic Violence’ is brilliant. As a Social Work major, I’m very aware of Alaska’s ridiculously high DV statistics, and your poem nailed the seeming reluctance to bring harsher measures on those who prey on the defenseless. I also really liked your poem, ‘Cannabis’. I too believe that the government is in bed with big pharma and it is in their financial interest to keep the populace sick and dependent on their drugs.
Delaney E Reece
okay so this is of course just my own opinion, but I am not a rhymer. I think you are addressing some deep and important things, and it felt as though you were searching to make them rhyme. The poem on domestic violence, the first instance with bruised and confused rhyming honestly frustrated me to the point where I did not want to keep reading. I understand that it may be your style and it is a stylistic choice but I personally had issues with it and did not feel it was appropriate given the topic.
klmarshall2
if someone punched you hard in the face out of nowhere, how would you feel? when it happened to me I got a bruise and I was confused on why it happened. does that make sense?
nmfleming
The flow of each poem is perfect. Dometic Violence is very deep, so sad, and yet so very true your poem portrays the reality of domestic violence in Alaska. All of your poems have a very deep meaning to them and I think that is what makes your poems amazing.
Courtney Kisner
I love how deep your poems are. They addressed some important issues and I think if you were a bit more lenient on some of the rhyming here and there, you would be able to get even further. It seems like you put a lot of thought into these poems and there is a lot of emotion wrapped up into each piece…I love that. Great job!
Shana Waring
What is Life and Cannabis were really great to read. I’ve seen these ease of cancer pain come at the hand of cannabis and it’s nice to see others share the positive approach to its use. The questions you asked in What is Life not only got my mind racing, but it allows for people to take a moment and reflect on choices and how each individual comes from the same mold. It was nice to see some of your writing so opinionated and other pieces open for mindful positions of the reader. The first few topics were a bit more difficult to read because of the subject matter, but you were still able to keep my attention to their end.
Angela Rodriguez
There was an obvious theme in your set of poems that I really liked. I really like how you depicted unemployment life. I feel like most people have been unemployed at one time or another and it is a terribly scary feeling. It was smart to put “anything” in between the different tasks that make you money in there because that is all anyone can think when they are desperate and unemployed! My second favorite poem in your set was “What is life?” I feel like as a college student, I am constantly questioning what life is and why am I choosing the paths I am on. I mean I don’t even know what I want to major in. I felt like this poem made me feel less alone with not knowing what my purpose is. Especially as you questioned, who is pretending to know
Brenden Couch
I see here subjects of dismay and all done well. Unemployment, Domestic violence, touchy subjects and handled with great tact. I also enjoyed the word choice using succubus, which isn’t all to common. I can really appreciate the use of property legal terms and words that tailor to each poem. Also, I am not for or against Marijuana personally, I like the poem on that as well, we are always finding things that it cures, I am always for the alleviating of suffering.
Jess Young
Your poetry addressed real issues in understandable terms, which I really appreciate. I like the effort you put into the rhyming!
Kait
Each of your poems are so deep, it really made me think of the issues you wrote about. The way you wrote about them is how I feel about them sometimes. It was really nice to relate to your poems!
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